Saturday, December 29, 2007

Happy New Year

It's been a while, Life has been hectic with the Holidays and just life in general. Been looking for work, which is not going so well... but it'll happen soon I hope.

I only had to re - wrap presents once this year- my husband decided to put the presents from us under the tree early, my daughter decided to have her own Christmas about 3 days too early, so I re-wrapped everything. Good thing I bought extra paper.

Christmas is a time for friends and family, and that is exactly how we celebrated our Christmas. We went out for Christmas Eve dinner with the in-laws and my husband's grandparents. YAY, it actually went well, with a 2 year old, a 6 year old, a husband who I am finally getting along with again ( we've had some ups and downs the last few months) thank goodness, my mother and father in law, my brother in law ( who is almost 17) and then 3 aunts, an uncle, and the grandparents. We managed to not make a huge scene. The two year old only had to go out side once, the 6 year old to the bathroom 3 times, and only one issue with food. ( Thank goodness again, because it seems it happens every year that someone has a problem). My daughter liked the ice cream from my banana foster dessert, our sons clothes managed to stay clean, and we only managed to have one piece of chicken being saved for later... no not in a diaper- in a shoe. Don't ask, I have no idea, but our daughter took her shoes off half way through dinner, I went to put them on to take her outside and she had chicken in her shoe. Always an adventure in Columbo Land.

Christmas day was amazing, we spent the morning at home, let the kids play with their new toys, and try on some new clothes. Then we went to my in-laws house and hung out for a bit. Let the kids open their stuff there and play for a while. Then we stopped by my moms, picked up stuff for our dinner ( she bought prime rib for hubby and I to eat at home, and made us some French onion soup) and did presents there. Then came home, I cooked, and hubby and our son played Transformers on the PS2 ( well hubby played our son watched - it's only a one player game) then played darts on hubby's new dart board. It was great.
I was actually almost relaxed.

I am going to the Doctor's on Jan 2nd, I have a physical I need done to start substitute teaching, and I am going to talk to them about putting me on something for anxiety. I have lived with it for a while, and it is finally getting to be too much. I am tired of feeling like I have coffee running through my veins, not being able to sleep, and then once finally asleep not wanting to get up in the morning. We did some research and I have a lot of the classic signs, worrying too much, irritability, fatigue ( from not really sleeping), and of course this " shakiness" that won't ever go away. So we'll see how that goes. I am just tired of feeling like a bad mom and wife because I can only handle so much before I want to just break. I have to try to laugh it off, but the feeling makes me want to scream. So I'm sure that will be updated and mentioned along the way. I figure if my problems help someone else with their own, or feel like they are not alone then I have no problem discussing it freely with the internet and live world.

So my thought of wisdom for the new year...
Only make resolutions you think you will keep.
Reach for the stars, but know they are a million miles away...
Forgive, but don't forget, just don't hold a grudge or bring up something from 5 years ago.
Smile, someone else out there may need to see it.
Try your best, and that is better than being perfect.
Last, don't be afraid to ask for help when you need it, don't ignore something that maybe obvious to everyone else around you. Take your life and gain control.

So while I'm at it, want to spice up your " private life" go check out the adult store link in the shopping section, they have some really amazing stuff for good prices.

Monday, November 19, 2007

The holidays are here already?

The holidays are fast approaching, Thanksgiving is 3 days away, Black Friday shopping is 4 days away. Christmas is a little over a month away. Then the new year will start....
Where does time go so fast? We just sit around watching it fly by. We forget to sit down and take a few minutes to breathe, watch the grass grow, the wind blow, our kids grow out of their shoes.

We don't have a lot of money here, and won't for quite a while.... but the holidays always put me in a giving mood. Last year I picked up a couple gift cards for my garbage men to McDonald's and Ruby Tuesdays, and ended up giving them to a man and his dog sitting in front of Walmart. I know there are a lot of scammers out there, but he was not one of them, he was a well known, nice, homeless man from the area. It felt good. My son likes to give his change to the bell ringers, he knows we don't have much and scrape to get by, but we are scraping by and not everyone is....

So this year, I found a website ( had found it earlier this year actually, and just came back across it ).... it is they have a where to send link with a list of soldiers ( the direct link to the list is in my support the troops links on where to send ). I was browsing through the lists, and clicking here and there to view some requests, I think this year I may request an address, and pick up some movies, and a few odds and ends like Christmas lights, on sale while I am out shopping on the after Thanksgiving sales, packing up a few books that I have read and can pass on. On sale items, but something none the less. Maybe get ambitious and make some home made cards for the troops to send to friends and family and let my kids and sister write letters and color pictures to include in the box as well.... They also have a nice 2008 calendar that the money is used to keep the website running, I think we may be giving those for Christmas presents this year to the in-laws, my mom, and one to hang up here at home.

I think that with the stores preparing for the holidays in July makes some of us forget what the holidays are about. It's not the presents or the number of lights that we have up, or who gets on TV for the coolest light show. It is a time for thinking about others. Some stores are already playing Christmas music- they started before Halloween, I like Thanksgiving the food, the friends and family, just being thankful we are all here to share it together, I want to enjoy that before I start thinking about Christmas. But commercialization of the holidays is making that harder and harder to do. It is sad. Maybe that is why I get into the giving mood, because I hate it all being pushed on me to buy more and spend more, and be the most decorated. I don't know. I just want to do something nice for someone else, someone I don't even know.

Monday, November 12, 2007

Veteran's Day

Yesterday was Veteran's Day. Most places here, in the United States are celebrating today - Monday, or at least giving everyone a much needed day off.
The thing is with the sales in the stores, and just the fact that most people are off today and had a 3 day weekend, we often forget what we had the break for.
SO, when doing your shopping, or watching TV or whatever it is you do on a break. Try to remember that Veterans day is a day to remember those who have fought for you. Our war hero's rarely get the acknowledgement that they truly deserve. Both current war and past war veteran's. These people were doing their jobs. They probably didn't like being separated from their families, sent to a strange country, then have to fight for their lives to come home in one piece. Today is a day for remembering ALL veterans, from the birth of our country to the current.
You may not agree with the war, or any of the past wars, but these men and women who fought, would have fought to protect you here in your own back yard. So if you see a soldier or know a war veteran try to remember to say thank you. If you know a military wife, try to remember to Thank her for the sacrifices she made ( or is making) while her husband was "working".

Thank You Staff Sargent Michael Schaeffer for the sacrifice you made. You left this world too early, but will always be remembered by those who knew you. You were brave, and saved lives the day you left us. RIP. Thank you Danielle. I did not know you and I wish I did. Your sacrifice will never be forgotten. I am sorry you lost such a wonderful person so early. Mike was our hero. Do NOT ever be afraid to talk about him and what he did the day that he was taken from us. He is not just a hero here at home, but is a hero to the men he saved that day, losing his own life to save those in his platoon. THANK YOU. He truly was an amazing person. I was lucky to have known him, and to have grown up knowing his family.
Thank you Cody Grater for your sacrifice. I did not know you, but many people I know did. They say what a great person you were, and how proud you were to be a soldier. Thank you to Cody's family for everything you are and everything you have done.

Thank You to my soldiers - Frank, Gary, Jesse Jeremiah, and Chris. You are always in my thoughts. You guys are the best friends that I could have ever had when we were growing up, and are amazing people doing the things you are doing, now. Stay safe while you are fighting. Come home safe. Enjoy the time you have while you are home.

Sunday, November 11, 2007

Random- Why not to send hubby shopping, and weather

Why you NEVER, EVER send a man to do your shopping for you.

I sent my husband with a handwritten grocery list. This list contained
Juice boxes
pull ups - store brand is cheaper

He comes home with a small , 20 something count, package of pull ups( Pampers) frozen pizzas, salami, bread, mayo.... OKAY wonderful, so what is our son taking in his lunch box for school this week, other than his sandwich? We did make it through one day of school, and honestly I give hubby credit, cause he went back to the store the next night and made sure he remembered juice and snacks.
Turns out he had rewritten the list on another piece of paper- adding the things he wanted or needed. I just looked at him with my evil grin- " Umm, wouldn't it have been easier to add onto the list I gave you, instead of hoping to write it all down from memory and add onto it?"

I'm hoping it gets warmer soon, because we are camping Thursday and Friday night and will probably be freezing our you know what's off. Yes, I am in the sunshine state, but once the humidity disappears it feels cold outside to all of us... LoL
Being an unofficial Floridian - I was born In Massachusetts, but have lived here since I was 5 ( so 20 years now) I have forgotten what cold is. We complain about our 95 degree summer, not including the heat index that makes it feel like 105. The humidity makes most of us miserable and want to hide in the air conditioning. Yes, we have heater's and YES we use them- a lot- once winter comes. The panhandle has been known to get snow. Believe it or not there are winter days I wish it would snow, it would actually warm up the air. My thing is, if it is going to get into the 30's at night, then let some flurries through. LoL , Just not this Thursday and Friday night.... when I am in a tent, with 2 little ones trying to cuddle up in between my husband and me.Sleeping in our sweat pants and seat shirts. I say this, but it is supposed to be in the 60's or 70's when we head that way. But ya know, Florida weather is beyond unpredictable

Saturday, November 3, 2007


My poor, poor neglected blog....

OKAY, so let's play catch up.....

I made it through one week.... I even managed to survive 2 teeth being pulled, despite being miserable for the week following...

Saturday I found out a dear friend passed away. He was young, Like 21 ( barely) young. He was smart, funny, talented, my son loved him so much. He was his pre - k teacher 2 years ago ( private, 3 days a week, for 3 hours a day, through the park and rec dept). His passing has made me realize even more that we really don't know how long we have on this planet, with our friends and family, and we should cherish every moment we have to share together. I am grateful to have gotten to know this person, and words can not express how sad I am to have to say good bye to him. I had a talk with my 5 year old about it, and we were okay.... thank goodness.

Sunday was pretty uneventful.Monday we missed the bus, oh and Tuesday we missed the bus....
had a parent teacher conference, and we're told our son is wonderful- great to hear cause sometimes I really am not sure. Oh and Missed the bus on Wednesday too.
Wednesday was a half day for my son, also his Halloween party, and Steve's Funeral. My daughter and I went to the funeral, picked my son up early ( by 15 minutes) and went to the get together after. It was nice to see so many people. My son played with Steve's little brother for a few... We walked out to the park, and the water works started( despite fighting them back) ... my five year old was being strong for me" Mommy, don't cry, I 'm here with you " bless him.
We came home and picked up the house, then got the kids in their costumes. My daughter was a witch and my son was Optimus Prime.... then went trick or treating and I think for my son's birthday we will fill a pinata with left over Halloween candy, way too much here...

Thursday we made it to the bus stop... Thursday night my son had his break down....
He and I were in the middle of the living room floor, crying.... he really got me, I was doing okay, but his " I miss Mr.Steve" will forever be etched in my memory. My poor baby.He had me in tears, which didn't help him much at all.
We talked and I reminded him of good memories, and got ready for bed..... I told him it's okay to miss someone. That he will always have his memories, and if he wanted to he could talk to Steve, but he won't get a response, but that Steve might hear him in heaven, and remember something they did together.

Friday- so we are now on today, we made it to the bus, 2 out of 5 - ummm not so good this week.... had pizza at my moms, fought with Nextel about replacing my phone, and still have to wait 2 days, possibly 3. My grandparents are coming sometime in the next two weeks and no one knows when. Should be eventful...

Thursday, October 25, 2007

I need a nap

It's been a while since I had a chance to post a blog....

Where to begin.
I had a tooth that was driving me absolutely insane.... well I had it pulled on Friday ( almost a week ago), actually 2 pulled that day. I am still miserable. I swear my jaw hurts worse than the actual teeth did. BUT i am not in agony any more. So that is a plus.

I am NEVER buying another Halloween costume again, we will make them by hand from now on.
My son has been saying for MONTHS he wanted to be a Skeleton, so we went to 3 stores to find him a skeleton costume. We found 2 at the last store we went to, one even glowed in the dark. So we walk through to the end of the aisle ( should have just turned around and went the way we came) , and what is there for his eyes to see. OPTIMUS PRIME. He took the skeletons out of the cart ( that we were going to try on) and grabbed the transformer costume. All it is, is a jump suit, a plastic mask, chest piece and blaster that goes on his arm/hand.... cost double the skeleton costumes, which were better quality. There was NO talking him out of it. SO we tried them on and he is Optimus Prime for Halloween.
Nope never again, it's cheaper to buy a pattern, some material and borrow my moms sewing machine.
My daughter is going to be a witch, which fits her better than anyone could imagine these days. Terrible two's are going full blast.
I am on a 3rd keyboard, as soda was Poured into the one given to me.... so 9.48 at Target, it works fine, better than I would have expected. ( Just for future reference if you end up needing a cheap keyboard LoL )

Is it nap time yet? I am so burnt out today and I have no idea why. I need a nap more than my child does today. I am an absolute grump... yet it is only lunch time.

So lets see,
Halloween, Field trip two days later, hopefully fireworks for the high school homecoming week skits, 3 day weekend, Substitute teacher training, Camping, Thanksgiving, my son's 6th birthday, then Christmas... where is all of this time going. It seems to be flying by. Or am I the only one that thinks so.

Thursday, October 11, 2007

ah, what a day!!!

I am sitting here at 1:22 am, sipping on my third cup of coffee. WHY?

originally at 10:00 tonight I was doing dishes, and folding laundry waiting for my husband to come home from work. I am now sitting here for 5 minutes not only to continue what I started, but for my 5 year old to get out of the shower.
We are now on our fourth night of puking.... sunday was my son, monday was my daughter, last night and tonight it is my son. He went to school yesterday, but will be home again tomorrow along with a visit to the doctor's to see what is wrong with him and how to fix it. Yay! My poor babies.I feel so bad for them. However, I am pretty sure that my daughter was sick from drinking whole milk. It just sat to heavy on her tummy, as usual.

It all just goes along with the kind of day we have been having.
Skylar was an imp all day. I got very little accomplished chasing her around today, and washing butter out of her hair.
Then my mom's friend calls several times ( I have my mom's cell phone) and asks for a ride to her doctor's, then for someone to pick her up at the park... why? because she was in a car accident on her way to the doctor's and managed to get a ride back to town, but not home. Me being who I am , call my mom with no answer. I Then call said friend back and offer to pick her up, but i had to stop at the store on the way back to her house. Well, I pick her up and she is calling my mom at home, to borrow her car. Well without being able to talk to my mom , she volunteered her car, also being the person she is.
As I am leaving my moms house, she gets a phone call. Her car has now been in an accident, and is no longer drivable. Same friend, 2 accidents in one day. So we spent our evening with my mom waiting to see her car arrive at the shop. The tow driver was very nice. My mom was not so thrilled. I mean she is not mad, she just can't believe this, her biggest thing is how to get to and from work. Her friends have let her borrow their truck for a day or two to get through the rest of the week and her own doctor's appointments.
Thank goodness for car insurance, thank goodness for the friend who borrowed the car for also having insurance. Now the problem is getting it fixed, as it is fixable, but the value on it is probably far less than it would cost to fix. We are hoping the insurance company doesn't decide to try to "total" it. It would be cheaper for them to total it, but then that leaves me still owing money on her loan....

Here is what we saw when the driver pulled in and unloaded it

so that was my day.

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

just some stuff

Ahhh where to begin.
Sometimes I think life just likes to laugh at me.....
My poor husband has been working his butt off. I miss him, but hey work is work. I am half way through the process for substitute teaching ( YAY)

So my husband went out fishing on Saturday night, after work. To be honest I was a little upset he wasn't coming straight home, but he deserved a night to take a break. Neithless to say he didn't catch anything, well the crabs don't count and he tossed them back too.....

He then took our son fishing on Sunday. I was semi- grateful. I had a little me time to get some things accomplished, well as much as I could with a cranky, tired, refused to take a nap, wanting her daddy two year old. Hey , it was her turn, we're all entitled to one of those kind of days.
Then hubby took our son to wal-mart , then to Pit Boss ( local BBQ restaurant my hubby works at ) to eat, then to my in-laws, then to Publix ( a grocery store ) because he forgot my sons juice for school when they were in Wal-Mart, then to McDonald's, then finally home at 8:30 at night. The poor kid was exhausted and had to be up for school the next day. So I go to climb into bed at midnight on Sunday night, only to hear a very disgusting noise in my sons room. Guess who decided to get sick, poor kid,he even tried to roll over and go back to sleep. let's just say he was not a happy boy when I made him get up and go into the bathroom, and get into the tub. My husband also was not happy when I made him get up to sit with him in the bathroom, and my daughter also because her shower radar started to go off. Well, I gave my husband 2 options:
1) sit with the kids in the shower
2) clean the puke , change the sheets, and lysol the room.
he chose the one he could tolerate. Most men can not and will not tolerate puke, even if it is their child's, and to be honest I am happy he chose the sitting with the kids vs the other, because he would have just made a bigger mess. So my son stayed home from school on Monday. I am however very positive he is not sick, but that it was a combination of fishing, then eating ( apparently without hand washing - verified by my husband) being in the sun most of the day, running around his grandparents house, and then McDonald's. He went to school on Tuesday.
Monday night was not much better though. My daughter has a bad habit of screaming till she pukes.... usually because whole milk doesn't sit well on her tummy, and she had whole milk- chocolate none the less - at my moms Monday night. It was her turn to be sick, and hosed down, luckily I knew it was coming so we were already hanging out in the bathroom. It just happened to be her turn. She was fine Tuesday.
Hoping today ( being it is 2 am on Wednesday morning ) goes much smoother. That everyone including the puppy are happy.
My husband has been pretty pleasant since his night off with the boys fishing, maybe we all need one of those.

Thursday, October 4, 2007

I haven't been in here and posted something in a few days..... WHY? because I decided it was time to do some rearranging of the house.... and attempt to get everything reorganized.... It has officially taken me 3 days, but I have made some progress. My bedroom is finally a bedroom and not an office with a bed in it. My dining room is pretty much not there anymore, but that's okay. The table is still there with enough chairs for my kids to sit and eat at. I have a cable wire going from my bedroom into the kitchen/dining area and taped to the floor so no one trips on it ( but that is just temporary until I can afford to have the cable guys come out and re-wire my roadrunner account). The kids rooms are almost in their semi-permanent form. I have reference forms to drop off at my old work, for substituting. Things are starting to look up in our little world.... bills are starting to get caught up ( again- I still owe a lot on a specific credit card, and will be able to start taking care of that very soon too... YAY )

I went to the dentist yesterday. I HATE THE DENTIST, and I managed to come out of it alive. I have to get two teeth pulled in about 2 weeks, and have started talking about getting some other "shotty" dentist work fixed. I was shocked at how comfortable this office made me feel. We ( my tornado and I) were there for 2 hours yesterday, she stayed in her stroller and didn't break anything, and well they still had people in the waiting room when we left, so I guess the few times she did get upset and start yelling in Skylar language didn't hurt their business. Oh , and we got invited back for 2 extractions and a deep cleaning ( not looking forward to this, and it's scheduled 4 days before Christmas, so I may be eating mashed potato's for dinner that day.) It is a start to getting things to look up. My husband is going to go to see them soon too ( hoping that his work does not change their insurance plan this year, I finally found a dentist i like LoL- if that is even possible)

Monday, October 1, 2007

Am I a broken record?

I said the Phrase " Is your room clean so I can vacuum it?" 8 times in an hour and a half yesterday. I was making my bed, folding clothes and putting them away. My son came into my room 8 times to show me something, tell me something, hug me, kiss me, tell on his sister, and start the process all over again. I acknowledged him, looked at what he wanted, hugged him back, Told him I loved him, and asked , " is your room clean so I can vacuum it?" 8 times. He actually told me how many times I had asked him when i finally said " how many times do I have to ask ?"
I was shocked. He knew exactly, and was procrastinating. It reminded me of someone else I know... who you ask... well ME. I procrastinate till i can't any longer. Things get done, just not always when I plan on them being done. I go through phases where I get spurts of energy and scrub every crease and crevice in my house, and then days where the dishes and laundry are the only things done that day. So I can't complain about my son doing it too. He has good days and bad days, especially since I started putting things in garbage bags- it makes cleaning easier, and less to clean another day. I will say , I have made a chore chart for myself and it has made things much easier, certain things for certain days, and it keeps me from becoming overwhelmed with everyday chores and cleaning. Obviously there are things that have to be done every day, like dishes and laundry ( yes laundry is an every day chore in this house , even if it is only one load) and then there are weekly chores, like changing the sheets on the beds ( I save that for the weekend) but it has made life much, much easier. the kids have one too, although their's consists of brushing their teeth and bath, and putting dishes in the sink.

I just think I am going to record myself saying
Clean your room
leave the dog alone
why are you naked?
leave the computer alone
brush your teeth
and good night
since I use those phrases more than once , well more than 3 or 4 times a day.

Saturday, September 29, 2007

Some random stuff

Okay so before I go on about losing my mind chasing a two year old around a bowling alley .
I am sitting here with my iced tea and Yoplait yogurt. I have been saving my pink lids and intend on sending them in in my mother in laws name. They will donate money to a breast cancer foundation for every lid you send in. So go buy Yoplait yogurt, send your pink lids in, and help make a difference in breast cancer research., while helping to keep yourself healthy. I buy the 8 pack and they are labeled as such.... This is important, do your yearly exams, get your mammogram when you should, and stay on top of your health. The better on top of it you are, the easier it is for you to know if something is wrong, even when the doctor's say everything is fine. Because, not all breast cancer comes in the form of a lump either.

OKAY, SO we went to a birthday party for a friend of my sons from his preschool. I loved adult time, and met with some people we haven't seen since school got out last year. Even exchanged numbers with a couple of them. I also spent a great deal of the time chasing my two year old daughter from one end of the alley to the other. In the process of running late to the party, I apparently forgot the stroller was no longer in the car. However, as wore out as that has made me, she behaved fairly well. the bowling alley is still standing, Nothing was burned down, and we are alive and well, so over all the human tornado managed to not get us kicked out and have public socialization, like normal people. Yes, we ended up in a different lane a couple times, yes we wore cake, yes we spilled soda, yes we did time out, yes we played in the sink after telling me she had to go pee - something i was hoping she would do- but was just an excuse to play in the sink. We played video games, we watched big brother bowl. We made it out alive.
So now that leaves me debating what to do for my son's birthday. Not so sure anymore.... see it's a toss up between kids running around a bowling alley and not having to cook or clean the mess, or my house and having to cook and clean, but the kids can run around the back yard. Who knows we may just do cake with our friends and family, and try to keep it small. Although just friends and family is at least 20 people, so that is still a lot.
When does this get easier?
Oh and while you're sitting here reading about my boring life....
go watch this video, i can so relate

some mom-isms

Stop hiding the crayons,
stop coloring on the wall , no that doesn't mean the floor is meant to be colored on either
Where did all your clothes go?
Turn the TV off
Do your homework
No I don't know where you hid your crayons.
if you miss the bus, you'll be walking this morning.
No I don't like " see food" so don't show it to me....
How did you get peanut butter in your hair?
Oh that's where my hair brush went
Don't pull the dogs tail.
Be nice to each other please.
Don't make me come in there....
Leave my phone alone please
Don't stick that in there
Your sister did what?
Why is there a crayon in the fan?
Stop playing in the toilet, it is not a pool.
Get your finger out of your nose.
Every body buckled?
Where did that M&M come from?
Get out of the toy box,
the lid to the toy box is not a slide, neither is your sisters mattress.
You put what up your nose? Why?
No you don't need coffee.
Go to bed
good night
i love you too
What did you break?
get out of the puppy's crate.
Don't kick the crate, you wonder why he doesn't want to play with you.
I could go on
Did you brush your teeth, wash your hands, flush the toilet, make your bed, clean your room?

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

finding a job.

I think I have thoroughly lost my mind.

I have decided it is past time for me to go back to work. We have bills to pay. So what have I decided to do? Why Substitute teach of course. Okay, so it's not all that crazy.

I have been thinking about it for a while now. I like that I can make my own schedule, not have to call out when someone has to stay home sick ( I just log in online and make my self unavailable), or go to a doctor's appointment etc. I can work at my son's school, or pretty much anywhere I want to in the county. I can make my own schedule. Although I won't get paid for vacation time etc., but I will be home for my son, and not have to worry about child care over winter break or Spring Break etc. Subs don't get paid a lot, but money is money right? I am thinking if there are bills to be paid then yes, any money is a good thing and it would be enough to make ends meet and have some left over for savings so that we make it through the summer with out a problem, or at least a big problem.

I'm thinking I want to primarily stick to middle and high school, as I have 2 children, one in kindergarten and the other only 2 years old. I say this because it may make me appreciate them a little more. ( I have also considered changing my college major from paralegal to high school education, so I think it would be a learning experience as well).

My husband is iffy about it, but I think it will be good and will work out fairly well. It might be weird for a while, as I have been a SAHM for over 2 years. I've grown accustomed to it. However, I think I will adjust just fine. My neighbor has offered to help with my 2 year old a few days a week, and my son will be in school while I am working. SO it will all work out, at least for a while.

Monday, September 24, 2007

Be yourself....

And if the band you're in starts playing different tunes. I'll see you on the dark side of the moon - Pink Floyd Brain Damage

So, we made it through our shots today without a major catastrophe, no head banging this week.
My son is at school, my daughter is sleeping, and well my husband is also home sleeping. I decided I would sit here and blog for a few ( okay procrastinate on the cleaning - I'll be honest. I really don't want to pick up stuffed animal stuffing today from the puppy's chew toy), while listening to Dark Side of the moon - yes I do in fact know who Pink Floyd is, surprise I love the Beatles too... LoL, although apparently CKY just started playing so that would mean that my itunes is now on the next cd playlist , course it could also be set on random without me knowing it.
I love ALL kinds of music. If it sounds good to me, I'll listen to it. Pink Floyd, Beatles , CKY, Tool, Fergie, Hinder, Brad Paisley, Rolling Stones, Toby Keith, The Who, even Mozart and Bach, with the occasional Disney remixes cd in there somewhere. I love music. I always have. I was in band in middle and High school and marched my sophomore through senior years. I am proud to say that My high school went to states my senior year for the first time in 11 years. Music is a way to express emotions without saying what you feel. You know if I am angry or happy or just blah by what I listen to. I had a lot of friends who just couldn't understand how I could listen to country music, they " hated " it. It's one of those, if you allow yourself to be open minded you might be surprised what you could come to like. Instead of worrying about fitting in, dare to be different. My mom exposed me to all kinds of music when I was growing up. I am trying to do the same for my kids. I want them to know it's okay to be different and like different things. the people who will matter in their lives won't care what kind of music they listen to or the style of clothes they choose to wear, or the color their hair is dyed that week ( although hair dying is quite a ways a way - I had purple hair at one point... and I mean PURPLE not black cherry, it was also kool -aid red at one point too, my boyfriend at the time thought it was strange, but it didn't matter, plus he liked the attention from others about what color his girls hair would be that week) . True friends will like you for who you are. Besides there is nothing better than blaring the radio , with two little kids strapped in their car seat or booster seat dancing and singing " Hard Days Night" , " Money" , " Girls with Guitars", " It's a Small world ", or " Something to be Proud of" in the back , while driving with all the windows down and everyone staring at you like you are crazy. It's even better when you all have on your sun glasses, or hata blockers... LoL
It's good to be different, I mean if everyone was exactly the same life would be so boring.
I think that exposing children to the roots of today's music is important.... big band/swing, jazz, classic rock, rap, alternative etc. Yes, within boundaries as there are things they just don't need to hear at 5 and 2 years old, but diversity is the key. It will help them be diversified in other aspects of their lives. As they grow, they will form their own opinions, but at least they are able to make those decisions based on experience.

Okay so I strayed a bit. We made it through or appointment with out head banging and scaring the you know what out of every other kid in the lobby so that is a plus. I also managed to not lose my mind in the office. Despite the "Mom , Skylar stole my chair, make her get up " and " No, RJ , Mines" and " I love you RJ", " Mom you said no needles" . Which I told them both they were getting a shot today, so the " no needles" is him trying to make me feel a little guilty about it. I told him exactly what was going to happen ( he also cried because he thought he missed the bus after I had already explained I would be bringing him into school after the doctor's visit- just goes to show that men start the selective hearing process around toddler age, it's not something that comes on into adulthood) . We are good on Doctor's until March, unless of course someone gets sick between now and then, and I truly hope we are good this year with cold season. We were in the doctor's office at least once a month just passing the same cold germs back and forth between everyone in the house, but that comes with pre-school and now kindergarten.
Well I should probably finish cleaning and make lunch, my little one just woke up, and I have so much to do, I'm just lucky that as destructive as she can be ( my human tornado - seriously she herself could probably take out whole towns if she ever escaped) she is also my helper with her own vacuum and mop, and towel. Let's hope she is in the mood to help and not tear apart.

Sunday, September 23, 2007

just some every day rambling, Oh and my mom is taking us on a mini vacation

It's been a while since I posted a blog and well the little one's are sleeping. So we'll be up all night, thank goodness for coffee. I just couldn't resist the silence of my house. Well, silence other than the 200 minutes of blues clue's that is playing in the background, that my husband is going to have a conniption over since it's in his PS2. I'll be hearing all about how I am wearing it out, it can't handle that, DVD's will wear out the laser. Well, then they shouldn't have said it can play DVD's and CD's . Plus, I bought it for him with my hard earned months of stamp money. :)

What's new... I am not looking forward to the shots tomorrow morning. I am not fond of this keyboard. I miss my old one, ya know the one with my fingers clicks worn into every key. This one just doesn't feel right, BUT I can not and should not complain. What would I have done without this one, umm probably cleaned my house.
I have almost given up on cleaning. Now anything left on the floor goes into a garbage bag with the individuals name written on it, including my husband, whom I 'd have thought learned not to leave clothes on the floor after the toilet incident, sadly I was mistaken.
However, I am more than excited that my mommy has heard the cry for a much needed vacation, as she needs one too. There are 13 years between my sister and I. She is 12, and already thinks she is grown. So my mom was going back and forth about taking her to visit family for Christmas and to see snow in Massachusetts, guess what she chose instead.....
Disney for an early birthday present for my son, who will be 6 in December.
We have two nights reserved at Fort Wilderness for her, my sister, my two little ones and hubby and myself. YAY, then we will be going to the Mickey's Merry Christmas party. 3 adults 3 children, so I will not be the only one chasing my 2 little monsters around. I love the camp ground at Disney. Yes, I may be crazy. I love pitching a tent ( of course mine is a miniature house at 109 sq foot plus a screen room attached to the front), roasting marshmallows, sleeping on an air mattress all cuddled up under a sleeping bag. However, Disney camping is a little different from back packing through the wilderness ( yes we have some of this is the lovely not so sunshine state of Florida ) . I mean they have pizza delivery service, and an all you can eat buffet at the campground, you can see the fireworks from the castle, a water parade, pools, snack bars, drinks ( mmmm I could go for a Disney Pina Colada right about now), golf cart rentals, even marshmallow roasting with Chip and Dale followed by a movie under the stars. No, it's definitely not your typical camping experience. OH, and my favorite part clean bathrooms and showers ( like cleaned a million times a day kind of clean, hmm I wonder how much it would cost to hire a Disney mouskeeper to come to my house once a month) the bathrooms are my favorite because I have seen some pretty yucky public bathrooms, I hate taking a potty training toddler into public bathrooms My daughter has to sit on every seat and touch everything insight.
So back to what I was saying, This is a much needed break from the realities of life, I mean how far from reality can you get - Its Walt Disney World ( which by the way I have been so many times in my life I could write a book about it, with all the useless facts I have come up with It drives my husband insane). We are going to the Christmas party and managed to get 7pm reservations at Liberty Tree tavern for dinner with Goofy and Minnie. Which went much easier than trying to get into chef Mickey's. I'm like a kid in a candy store. I love my mommy ( yes, I am 25 years old and she is still my mommy)
Now, my son who loves school, has already expressed the fact he has no problem missing one day before Thanksgiving break to go to Disney World, so I guess it's a definite. LoL
Now to find someone to watch the puppy for 2 nights, and bribe my husband to take a vacation day.
I spent my day cleaning some new art off of my walls, and folding laundry. AHHH, the story of my life. I so need this little break, even if it means more work when I get home from it.
Now to go and put the crib back together, since it's been converted to a toddler bed my toddler and her brother think it's so cool to take it apart every chance they get. The mattress ( I wish I knew how they managed this, although I wouldn't be surprised if the puppy helped them ) is now in my sons room so that should be fun returning it to the bed, all by myself.

Thursday, September 20, 2007

procrastinating for a few...

I hate laundry, hence the procrastination of sitting here on the computer instead. I hate folding it, I hate hanging it, I hate it. I don't mind loading it surprisingly, and if I was allowed I would live out of a laundry basket of clean clothes for the rest of my life. BUT that just adds to the clutter of my lived in house, so I deal with the folding and hanging and several loads a day.

SO, it's Thursday, one more day until Friday and everyone home for the weekend. Both my kids have an appointment for shots on Monday, so that should be interesting.Last time my son - my 5 year old son- kicked the nurse, pushed himself up to the wall and proceeded to bang his head into it. Thank goodness they both only need one for this appointment, and thank goodness I don't have to pay a co-pay for it since we won't be seeing the doctor that day. However, if he bangs his head this time we may have to see him anyway. Then he will probably go to school, and tell everyone his horror story. It will really depend on how he behaves and feels afterwards, although I do not condone missing school, I am also not an advocate for perfect attendance. I think it makes kids, well some kids, more stressed out than they need to be. I know several people who would go to school sick just to keep there perfect attendance. Sorry but that's not me. Everyone needs a break once in a while. However, my son is in kindergarten and thinks school is the coolest thing since sliced bread, so I'm pretty sure he'll still want to go after he gets his shots. I just hope this is his feeling when he is in middle or High school.

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

blah blah blah, just rambling tonight

Stress sucks, literally. I just don't understand why everything has to happen at once. I had my kids rooms spotless, and the puppy decided to take half the garbage in under my sons bed, my daughter colored , yoo hoo'd and spit milk all over my freshly mopped floor, and the husband and I have been at each others throats for days... well when I actually speak to him, since I am so mad for some of his stupidity ( and it truly is stupidity and arrogance and all that stuff he thinks he has the right to be and do) it's much safer to not talk to him at all. I just spent the last hour replacing keys on my new keyboard since my toddler thought it would be a blast to pull most of them off, and who really knows how she managed that. So life has been tossing me curve balls all day, or maybe all weekend, maybe that's why the diet has hit the curb and I am sitting here with my fully caffeinated , sugared, non - diet cola and a ham and cheese sandwich, instead of sleeping in my bed cuddled up to my toddler who has claimed my side of the bed. Just once I would love to see her curl up on her daddy's side of the bed. Oh well, I can return to yogurt and water and coffee when the sun comes up in several hours. I would eliminate coffee too, but honestly I have discovered I can not make it through a day with out it. That has been my guilty indulgence- coffee with French vanilla creamer, and not the diet, low fat one either. Honestly, the 10 calorie difference per serving doesn't matter much, and well I can cut the 50 plus or so extra in other aspects of my eating habits. Like through water, and yogurt for breakfast and lunch ( or cereal and yogurt) . I am doing really good with this though. I have lost 5 pounds since starting last week. I also have not been very active other than my usual cleaning.
I borrowed my moms step counter and ended up walking 2 miles in a 2 1/2 hour period just around the house cleaning and to the bus stop. Try it, you might be surprised how much walking you actually do in one day, it adds up.

Monday, September 17, 2007


Why is it that men just don't understand women. I mean I get it, we're two different species ( essentially). Men even have their own language. It isn't until you point blank tell them something that they fully grasp the concept of what is being said to them, or in many cases just not saying anything at all.
It has been a miserable week at my house, and well that's not all that unusual. Yes, my husband busts his butt at work. I am home with the kids, well our daughter when my son is at school, I cook, clean, and do all of those home life responsibilities on top of trying to figure out how to get a job and work as well. There is rarely an appreciation for what I do accomplish in a 24 hour period of time. Cleaning is generally a lost cause, because my daughter loves to destroy a clean room ( like when I am done with this I have to re-mop my floor as there is water from the dogs dish and yoo hoo covering it) , and get out the brand new magic erasers, take a picture of her "artwork" and then scrub it off the walls and door.

My thing is that we wish we could teach our boys how to be good men. Something that is hard to do, when the men in their lives don't always understand what life is like while they are working. They are not always good role models to their sons ( not for lack of trying).
But often times for a man to understand the full repercussions of their actions, they need to be told exactly what you are feeling at the time.
I love my husband, but he has officially been given an ultimatum, and knows now what will happen if he doesn't attempt to abide by it. There is more than he could ever understand going through my mind at the moment, but when you are so close to giving up it is past the point of needing to say something. I know I am in no way perfect. I am not one to enjoy cleaning, matter of fact I hate doing dishes and putting clothes away, I hate it so much I wish I had the ability to twitch my nose and "poof" its done. Yes, I spend time on the computer, but it's not my life. I use a blog to vent my feelings, and to keep my family and friends posted on the life of my children. I drink way too much coffee to make it through my day. I smoke too many cigarettes ( as 1 is too many) I am 25 years old and still have little clue as to what I want to be when I grow up, although reading teacher is starting to look like something I would enjoy. I'd love to be a writer or journalist, but know that takes a "special" person and I am not so sure I am that special. I am a mom of two kids, who wishes I could work from home, and wishes my husband fully understood me. I wish I knew how to verbally express my opinions, instead the words just flow on to paper or screen. I have no tears to cry, I have very little left to think or say about my situation other than what has already been said. I just don't know how to feel any more.
It's to a point of just being. I try so hard to make everyone happy and still manage to fail someone.
I am no longer living in waiting. I will make plans and do things with or without my children( no I won't be leaving them, but I am capable of hiring a babysitter if I need to for a few hours) on my own. I do have friends and family I can visit, when I want. I am going to find a job some how, some where, and I don't need anyone's permission. I am standing up for myself, and that's the way life will be from now on. It's just past time.

Friday, September 14, 2007


Okay, I have been dying to get on here for days. LoL

So whats new in my little world.
Wednesday night my husband calls me, and wants to know whats wrong with the keyboard. I have no clue it worked fine earlier that day. Not to mention I was on my way back home from visiting friends at the hospital, with two tired little kids in the back seat. So all I heard was screaming the whole way home ( well screaming and " mom, make skylar stop she's giving me a headache")
So I get home, apparently beer, milk, soda, chocolate, and anything else that could potential have been spilled on a computer key board, had in fact been spilled on my computer keyboard at some point in it's time of existence. So thanks to a friend I now have a new keyboard, at least temporarily.

So now for the exciting news.... and much more important
Congrats to the god parents of my children for the birth of their new baby girl on Wednesday. She is beautiful and I am so happy for them.
Also congrats to another special couple on the birth of their beautiful baby boy on Thursday.

New babies everywhere and I am so excited for them. I am so grateful to have these wonderful people in my life, that shared the birth and of my children with me, and how happy I am in being able to celebrate the birth of their babies with them. I love them and they are great aunts and uncles to my kids.
These are my friends, who have become family to me over time. I love them for everything they have done for us, and hope to be able to do just as much for them and their new additions.
So Thank You for everything you have done, and for being a part of my family and allowing me to be a part of your lives as well. You know who you are.... love you guys.
Congrats again to both couples.

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

My children like to drive me crazy. These are the days I hold them a little closer. I love them, dearly and even when I am upset I want them to know I still love them.
I have been at the end of my rope for a few days ( thinking it may be PMS though) .

So this morning started off letting the puppy out at 7:30 am, and watching him tangle himself around every toy in the back yard. In the process of un-tangling him, I step in a fresh pile of dog poop. Yup should have known it was time to crawl back into bed right then and there.

I get both kids up, hoping that my daughter would take her nap at normal time later in the day ( ha wishful thinking on my part), start my coffee, feed them breakfast, get the older one dressed for school, change the little one's pull up, pack lunch and head out the door to the bus stop. The puppy is now inside.
We make it to the bus on time this morning, which is better than missing it and being late like yesterday, RJ gets on the bus, I push Skylar home in the stroller. I unbuckle her, so we can go in and leave the stroller on the porch, she lets the puppy out. I chase the puppy while she laughs ( seriously she loves this stuff) and manage to catch him and get him back in, in which time she decides to sneak out. So now I must chase her and the umbrella stroller down the street back to the bus stop. I catch her, strap her into the stroller she was pushing, and we go home. She then screams bloody murder for a half hour because she was put in her room ( It was an easy punishment considering she was running down the street, not the sidewalk) , but time out doesn't start till we calm down. That and she screams at everything ( including the dining room chair she has decided to move into my room at the moment- I just want 5 minutes of quiet mommy time - not gonna happen)
I attempt to do my dishes and laundry, and she destroys her room, but I got most of both tasks done, then she destroys her brother's room. I about had a heart attack since I even cleaned the carpets in that room yesterday ( the puppy got a pull out of the trash yesterday, and apparently got into a fight with it, the pull up lost- so did my sons walls, ceiling, closet door, toy box, tv, bed, and floor- I had pull up gel everywhere) and she managed to pull every toy out of it's place- I'm sure because she was mad at me.
She also managed to color on my tile floor. So I will have that to clean tomorrow. We ate left over chicken and mac & cheese for lunch- should be nap time... nope. She ended up not napping until 3:00 so I got nothing else done. I am ready to cry. I stand out side and wait for the bus ( thank goodness she will come down to my driveway if I am not right at the corner - course she passes my house anyways to go around the block to the next stop) .
My husband calls at 3:44pm ( as soon as my son and I are in the house from the stop) and asks me to bring him a change of clothes, he's covering a shift at a restaurant. Okay great, sure I'll get right on that, did you forget parent night is at 5:00 this evening? So I get dressed, wake the baby, get them a snack, find clothes for daddy, stop get gas, drive to the restaurant drop off the clothes, go to parents night 30 minutes late, leave that at 6:15, go to McDonald's to get dinner( since I didn't have time to make dinner) stop at my moms and sit with her for a while, just to sit with another adult. Come home, and watch Incredibles, waiting till the kids went to sleep. RJ just fell asleep and Skylar is still running around, Thank goodness my husband just walked in, so he chase her for a few, till he has enough and goes to bed.
It has been a " I wanna pull my hair out " day. But I have survived, and Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows is calling my name, while my husband and daughter are quiet.... so good night all.


Six years ago on this very day:
I was home with my husband, sleeping, 6 months pregnant with our son.
My mom called and said to turn on the news, so we did.
A tragic accident had occurred a plane had crashed into the World Trade center ( American Airline Flight 11 at 8:46 am).
I remember thinking, wow, I hope that everyone is okay, I couldn't imagine an accident like that, How did it happen?
The news flashed back to live footage, I remember seeing at 9:03 am the second plane hit the second tower ( United Airlines flight 175). I forever have that image carved into my memory. At that point, I called my mom and told her it wasn't an accident, a second plane had crashed. " What world was I bringing my innocent child into?"
That whole day is as much a blur as it is a permanent memory in my mind. I will be telling my grand-children and great- grandchildren about this day in American History.
The plane that hit the pentagon flew right over a cousin's house( American Airlines Flight 77). She knew people inside, worked with them at any given point in her media career.
Believe it or not the plane that hits me the hardest is United Airlines flight 93. Yes, some of what occurred is speculation, but these people knew, they had knowledge the other flights may not have had, they were determined to stop another tragedy. Flight 93 may have saved more lived through their courage, and knowledge. The good-bye calls, the calls back and forth getting more information.
The families that lost loved ones on this Day 6 years ago are not forgotten in my home. I could not imagine the loss they felt, and still feel.
A local school custodian lost his son, Manuel Mojica, assisting in Rescue attempts made by FDNY. Yes, he was honored then, Manny was able to throw the first Pitch in a Devil Ray's game and visit with players, and see how proud people were of what his son did to save another. To see what all of those rescue workers did that day to save others, risking their own lives. A job they do every day of their lives. I wish I could personally thank every single one of those brave men and women who worked that day, and the following days, and volunteered to help.

I think we often take our public service men and women for granted, they should be thanked everyday for what they do. Sadly they are often forgotten in our daily lives.
We should try to get a long with our neighbors, be as close as we were in the time after this tragedy, I am more than afraid that as time goes on people will forget, or not want to talk about it and slowly phase it out of our lives. It is a part of our history, as much as it is anyone else's. Families from all over the world suffered losses September 11,2001. They should not be forgotten. Not learning from history and the past opens the door for things to occur again, for hatred to step in on un-suspecting people.
No I don't know all of the political background that led up to a tragedy such as 9/11. Honestly, it shouldn't matter, what should matter is the memory, and learning from it to keep it from happening again.
Lingering on the past is not the answer either. One should not have any regrets in how they felt or feel about that day. If you lost someone, they new you cared, just because. Love is much more powerful than anyone could ever truly understand.
Honor the ones lost that day, every day of your life. Not just one day on the anniversary of a tragedy. Let your fire department, police department, volunteer rescue workers, coast guard, military, even bank or air port security know how much you appreciate what they do. Often times they are not appreciated, yet they would give their lives to save yours. You don't have to agree with everything they say or do, but they would protect you or attempt to save your life if you needed help, without question.

Monday, September 10, 2007


I sit here, waiting for my phone to vibrate - since the ringer still doesn't work - waiting to hear from my husband. Meat loaf in the oven, my 2 year old destroying my made bed, my son telling me he just wants green beans ( no meat loaf and no potatoes- well I guess it's better than nothing at all), all while he chases the puppy through the house with his sister's doll stroller.

Sunday, September 9, 2007

Funny things kids do or say

Okay, so I started thinking
1) I haven't posted a blog anywhere in 2 days
2) my kids come up with some good stuff.....

So My cell phone works, it just refuses to ring or work on speaker ( which is difficult to deal with as it is a nextel phone, oh and my husband refuses to replace it this time, so I'm on my own). YAY I have a phone ..... booooo - my daughter put the charger in the same water dish - except this happened while my hubby was in charge, so he is replacing the charger. She has got timing perfected, she'll wait till you are far enough away but can still see her to do these things.
When I catch her again, I'll post a picture of her climbing the shelves in the linen closet - remember I said my husband didn't believe when I said she climbed the pantry shelves to get my purse, well now he fully believes in the possibility.

A friend of ours is going in to have a c-section this week. I told my son that the baby will be here this week, and marked it on the calendar.
He then proceeded to count the days till then and says ," Hmmm, that doesn't give me much time." Okay... Time for what I ask him... " To teach Skylar how to be nice to a new baby" I don't know whether to be proud of him for thinking this and wanting to take the initiative, or to be thinking " OMG that doesn't give ME much time to teach her how to be nice to a new baby." Seriously, when people say " It's a good thing she's cute" they are not being facetious. She is one of the cutest kids I know ( not just saying that either), but she comes up with some crazy stuff, and loves to push all of the buttons, including the red one that says, " do not touch, will self destruct." She will be the one I am hunting down at midnight, probably with older brother in tow saying " I wanna come, I wanna see this", as he gives me directions to the party he " didn't" know about several hours earlier.
Kids can be manipulative when they want to be. It's truly a matter of learning how to deal with this. I think I am handling it well so far. I also have the advantage of not being an angel when I was a kid and Teenager. I mean I was an overall good kid, I was in band ( yes I marched, played the flute too), acting, and I played soccer for 10 years of my life including for my high school team. That mostly kept me busy and out of trouble. Mostly, I mean I did my fair share of partying in school too, who hasn't. I hope the experiences I had will help me be a better parent ( not saying my mom wasn't a good mom, I would not change her for anything, we had and have an awesome relationship, and she molded me into the person I am today, even on my myspace page under hero's she is the one and only listed). I mean I didn't give my mom a heart attack, although I am sure I came close several times, now my husband on the other hand, I am positive he came even closer than I did with his parents. Hence, where my little pistol gets her attitude from.

My son's latest is " I don't drink caffeine..." well okay. We try really hard to keep caffeine and soda, and sugar from our kids. Going out to dinner, we let them have a treat of soda occasionally. Too bad he has grown up enough to order coke or pepsi when we go out, because I used to order him sprite, ginger ale, or sierra mist. I just wish I knew where the " no caffeine" comment came from, and fell into my 5 year old's vocabulary.
Well, I am going to attempt a nap again today, since my daughter is sleeping, and my husband is " seperating cars by color" with my son.... apparently it is my sons new game... I guess we can call this his past time, so now it leaves my husband to decide what his new thing is. We'll see. Course my nap will only happen, after the dishes are done, the mattress is put back on my daughters bed ( apparently she and my son decided it is a new toy/slide), the dog water that just spilled across the kitchen floor, and the hair out of the bathroom sink. If I ever manage to nap, I then need to wake, start dinner and drag the little ones to the Black Hole known as Wal-Mart to get a new phone charger. I say black hole, because that place sucks you in, and tries very, very hard to not let you leave. Hence, a would be trip for a phone charger will result in:
a new car for the color collection, a new care bear, something for the new baby coming this week, dinner because I inevitably won't want to cook, boxers for my husband, socks for my son, lysol, febreeze and a magic eraser since they've been on my list for months and keep getting forgotten. Yet, we will still have to turn back around and start again because I will have forgotten the charger, which I went for in the first place.

Friday, September 7, 2007

Nap time... maybe?

Hoping it's truly nap time and my daughter isn't just playing with my head. I have so much to do and lately can not get it done. It's completely normal for a 2 year old to want your full attention and deserve it. It's also completely normal for them to destroy a freshly cleaned room and a made bed while you try to fold a load of laundry when they are still awake, or pretending to take a nap.
I have laundry to do, a floor to clean and probably re-clean. Thank goodness for my mom's floor cleaner. I will attempt to do the carpets again today too. If a certain little girl will let me accomplish the task.
My cell phone that went swimming in a puppy bowl, now works, but doesn't ring. SO, people can call me and I will never know. BUt hey I now have contact to the outside world once again. So thats a plus. Of course I have now realized ( I mean just now) that she thinks she is a puppy, and that could very well be why all of that came about. That phase started a few weeks ago when my husband brought a real puppy home with him. HMMMM is there a connection?
I have also decided that this new puppy has something against me. I clean and clean up after my kids. I cleaned the carpets last weekend, and this dog thinks its okay to poop on the carpet. I am telling you, he holds it in until he find an open door to a kids room and poops. ON PURPOSE. My husband thinks I am insane for feeling this way, and I should let the dog out more often. He is almost always out side, pees outside but wants to poop on the carpet. It kills me. Of course my daughter finds the humor in this. But she also thinks it's fun to let the puppy out the front door and play tag around the neighborhood, and pull on the poor things tail, something he has been handling quite well. I'm sure he thinks it's hilarious when she gets stuck in time out for doing this to him. He sits about 3 feet from her, and watches her kick and scream, all just out of her reach from her time out spot. I almost see a smile on the poor things face. I'm pretty sure this is his past time.
So lets see
Puppy- likes to watch the toddler in time out
Toddler - likes to pull puppy's tail and fight for a spot in my bed, oh and play in the toilet.

That means my son and husband should be coming up with some new thing to do to drive me insane, or just test my sanity.
You wonder why I laugh at all of this... I would truly be bald if I didn't. Or crying most of the time. Instead I laugh it off, walk a way( so I can breath and think about the proper way to handle things) and go read some " true mom confessions" and realize my life isn't so bad.

Thursday, September 6, 2007

Bad days and Good days

Sometimes I just don't know how I make it through a day. My house is a disaster, I need sleep, I just heard a toilet seat as I type this... ahhhh, My daughter has decided the toilet is her personal pool... its a good thing that did get cleaned today. Then of course some one doesn't know how to keep their little fingers off of the channel buttons on my sons TV, so Tom and Jerry isn't working....
Today was a long day, a not so good day for so many reasons, but we have made it so far without me completely losing my sanity. It's almost 8pm which means bed time for the little ones, and of course my husband has yet to get home from work ( but as long as he's working that is okay with me). I ordered pizza because I just didn't feel like cooking ( okay so I really didn't feel like doing dishes so I could cook and make them dirty again) Bedtime sounds so good too, guess I should put the clean sheets on my bed tonight. I might actually sleep good, if I can keep little ones out of my bed.
There are some days I just want to break down and cry, but I always find the strength to get through it. Depression is not an option, even when it seems to creep up on you and back you up into a corner. Some days are awesome, and some days are so hard. You just smile and know little hugs make things at least a little better. Now if my husband would just stop being a dork.

Tuesday, September 4, 2007

Why is it I close my eyes and something breaks?

Okay, so it is true, I go to sleep and something stops working properly.

I fell asleep on the couch for all of, I dunno a half hour maybe an hour. I wake to my husband yelling and my daughter crying.... Okay what is going on.... apparently while I dozed, my hubby thought it would be okay to ignore everything else going on in the house. Not that I intentionally dozed off, but ya know- I actually think if everyone would have let me, I would have slept all night long.
So he goes to check on the older one that he had sent to bed, and discovers the little one ( oh how I wish he took a picture first- one of her and one of his face) with a towel and one of the ginormous ( not just enormous - you know the ones I mean) pink bouncy ball she owns, shoved in the toilet. I would love to see a picture just so I had some comprehension in how she managed this not so small feat. So he is mad, well livid with me at the moment. How dare I fall asleep? Apparently we have forgotten who was up before the butt crack of dawn this morning already. So he is trying to sleep, I am sitting here and she is watching care bears on the couch, and not happy about it, since after last night she thinks claiming my side of the bed as her own is a new past time....

Proving my vital existence to the Earth's rotation

So here I am at 5:50 am. I know you're thinking - " well lots of normal people are up around that time..." Yes, You are right, matter of fact my husband is just rolling out of bed to go to work.
I, however have been wide awake since 4 am... Yes, 4 AM . That's not including the many hours of interruptions either.... I have accomplished drinking 3 cups of coffee, starting a load of laundry, making 2 lunches (one for my son for school since he refuses to try anything in the cafeteria, the other so my husband stops spending $ 20.00 a day on lunch at Burger King, McDonald's, Taco Bell, Quiznos, Subway, and even Circle K when he gets a craving for Gizzard's and hot sauce - yuck BTW) , taking the dog out twice, giving a breathing treatment to my son, and kissing my hubby good-bye on his way out to work...thanking him for not getting the bucket of ice water to wake up both of our children. As grumpy as I was about being up that early, I was enjoying the quiet time too, something I don't get very often.
The worst part is I fell asleep around 10:30 last night, thinking " Yes, a good nights sleep tonight, it's not midnight and I am in bed. The cleaning can wait till nap time tomorrow." Then at midnight on the dot my son comes in crying, and telling me he is afraid of the dark... okay no problem, I'll scoot over closer to daddy,( thinking, well it's dark in here too? ) .Back to sleep by 12:30, I can handle this. Then at 1:30 my daughter comes in Crying. She refuses to sleep in her own bed since it has been converted from crib to toddler bed, and had apparently awoken without her brother and didn't like that too much.... so she climbs into the bed, kicking her brother in the face... he was out cold thank goodness.
So back to sleep by 2 am. Can I at least get back into that dream I was having? It's rare to dream of Heath( long haired Knights Tale Heath), Tom ( Risky business and Top Guns Tom though, not Mission Impossible jump on Oprah's couch Tom), and Johnny ( Jack Sparrow Johnny.... mmmm although Edward Scissorhands, 21 Jump street Johnny wasn't too bad either) all in one dream.... I guess that one is a lost cause again.
By 2:30 my son was coughing - again, so wide awake listening to him hack away, I wake him up at 3:00, give him a breathing treatment and a cookie- I don't know why But he only wanted ONE cookie instead of his usual 3 or 4 or the whole box. Okay, so we climb back into bed. Now my hubby is awake and not happy, so I argue with him for a minute about how this all came about, Have to hear how his Pamela Anderson dream was blown to smithereens, and to be honest I have no pity for him cause Heath, Johnny, and Tom are way better. Then The puppy that he brought home decides everyone is up so he needs to go out, instead of waiting until 5:30 when the "daddy" wakes up and takes him out and feeds him. I say , " Boo, no go back to sleep, it's too early." This is then followed by his reply of puppy whining ( which is cute, with the sad puppy eyes). My husband Says " Just take him out".... Well okay then, sure I do not need to try to sleep at all ( again my dream is drifting further out of my grasp), you need the extra half hour you will get if I go let the puppy out ( you know the puppy you brought home, and I said " YAY, another toddler , I can't wait " ).
So here I am, now on my fourth cup of coffee, telling the world about my morning, that most of you will probably just laugh at... and say stop complaining. Honestly, I'm not complaining. I love my family. I just don't like the fact they all seem to uphold the myth that when mommy goes to sleep the world stops turning and everyone will fall off. But I am enjoying my quiet time, with no motivation to clean yesterday's mess. Although I am proud that my husband remembered to take the trash to the curb, so I don't have to on the way to the bus stop at 8:30.... with a kindergartner, a toddler, and a puppy.
So far the rest of my day will be spent with a cranky little girl - since she didn't sleep well last night either- cleaning and replacing the cell phone ( I hope) that she sent swimming in the puppy's water bowl, unless by some miracle it decides to work again , which is doubtful since I will now be purchasing phone # 4 since January.
Does anyone think It will be okay to take a nap at nap time? I mean there should be enough people awake and moving to keep the Earth turning so I can close my eyes for 30 minutes... Right?

Monday, September 3, 2007

Going on Vacation....

I say this a lot actually. I wish I was going on vacation, I desperately need one. Okay so I actually say " I'm going on vacation and changing my name" when my wonderful husband asks why I'm changing my name the reply is always " so it's harder to find me if I decide not to come back" or " so my sugar daddy doesn't find out I'm married with children"
But I would not and could not do this, I know what my house would look like when I returned ( oh and I love my kids too much :o) ) . I mean now it looks slightly ( okay more than slightly) lived in... I have clothes over flowing out of my laundry hamper, only because I just found the stash of clothes my kids, husband, and puppy have been hoarding under the beds, and behind the toilet. I have dishes in my sink, a husband still sleeping in my once made bed, my coffee pot is on, and I just don't have the heart to " magic"ally erase ( magic erasers are the greatest invention in the entire world ) my daughters beautiful pink, purple , and green art work from my walls. All of this adds character to my other wise not so exciting life ( I'm not lazy, I just get tired of cleaning the same things 50 times a day - I don't sleep because I do go to bed with a fairly clean house, but the family has to wake up sometime before the sun actually rises and fix that.)
I hate the " Are you working?" question that I get sometimes. Nope, I sit on my behind all day, eating bon bons, and tease my hair into the Peg Bundy poof. I love it, and I torment my husband. Seriously, I am a stay at home mom that wishes I could truly afford to work, but am trying to enjoy my kids as much as I can. Some people just don't understand I am a maid, chauffeur, doctor, nurse ( sometimes even minor surgeon - splinter removal is a big money maker ya know), chef, soccer coach, dance partner, really bad singer of Disney music, human dish washer, wife, teacher, tutor, seamstress, now PTA member, oh and some where in all of this I find time to make some money being a Stampin Up demonstrator ( although not an extremely successful one at times ) . Scrap booking is an expensive hobby, but I love it. Now how to afford it? Maybe I'll get lucky and win the lottery pay off all of our debt, and buy everything I ever wanted in the catalog... it's easier to dream, although I have a better chance of winning the lottery than getting a visit from the cleaning fairy. But I tip well if she would ever show up, although the tooth fairy probably told her to steer clear of my house...
" Ya you know that Columbo house, stay away, the dog will try to eat you, her older kid will try to catch you, and the little one - even her mom says it's a good thing she is cute cause she will look at you with those big brown eyes, smile and try to pull your wings off...."

My son is telling me ( not asking politely with the manners he has been taught and I know he has, I've heard him use them - just never directed at me ) " That he needs chocolate milk"

Ya well I need my sanity, if anyone knows where sanity escapes to please send me directions, google maps and mapquest both told me they didn't know. Mine seems to have run away and left me hanging.

I love my kids...

I love my kids I really do, even when they make me pull my hair out.... so yes , Yay labor day weekend right? Ummm, 3 days home with my wonderful son, my husband, and my perfect daughter.Okay so it's half true. Most of the time they are wonderful.... MOST.

My weekend started Friday afternoon with my son getting off of the school bus and not saying - " I love you mommy and missed you today" but with " Mommy you're fat, I wish you could lose some pounds". Thanks bud, love you too, I wish I could lose some pounds also. Then about an hour later my 2 year old daughter is beating up her almost 6 year old brother, and him coming screaming out of his bedroom ( I think he still wants to send her back to where she came from- he's not sure though) " Mom, Skylar Hit me." I can't help but think, " Ya and you called me fat" LoL
Then my husband had his friends over playing poker, oh and drinking - guess who cleans up that mess.... Saturday umm same thing, accept I was able to escape to a baby shower for a few hours. Which was nice because I never get out of the house away from anyone, and we all need that break sometimes. Sunday we did the birthday thing next door, so I actually had some more social interaction... we get home, and my daughter decides to send my cell phone swimming in the puppy's water dish... YAY I have officially gone through 3 cell phones since New Years eve/day 2007, but I was smart this time - I added the insurance that everyone says " Oh I don't need that", well apparently I am one of those people who does in fact need it. Matter of fact if you know of any good insurance companies that will insure for " kid damage" please let me know, My walls need to be repainted, I'm working on my 4th cell phone for the year ( pretty sure before the year is over the cell phone company will tell me I have met my life time of discounted replacement phones), my car is a mess, there is milk on the windows, my screen has a baseball size hole in it... but why fix them , in 24 hours you would never know they were fixed.
Today my husband is taking a nap, from his long weekend of hanging out with friends, I am awake, as always- a friend of mine swears if I sleep the world would stop turning, so my kids were sent here to ensure that never happens. I couldn't sleep last night as usual ( maybe I should eliminate that second pot of coffee that gets me through the day) then as soon as I fell asleep at 5:30 this morning, my little miss sunshine wakes up screaming, so we watch carebears over and over around 6:30 AM, until daddy wakes up at 10... and now he's sleeping again, while I sit here and blog.
The funny part is that I love my family, even when I want to cry. I wouldn't change my kids for the world, my husband sometimes ( like when he forgets to put his clothes in the hamper that is even labeled DADDY, so he wouldn't forget- well he does forget. Or that invisible wall of stink that floats up from under the covers when he farts before I climb in....) .

So my advice to all new parents or soon to be new parents when they ask is
" learn to laugh at the things that would normally make you want to pull your hair out, because if you don't , you will be bald before you see your kids graduate."

Sunday, September 2, 2007

take a breath

here is another myspace blog... originally written in June...

Some days are harder than others. When the world seems to be stopping you just have to keep pushing yourself forward, when the world appears to fly by you just have to take a breath and try to enjoy every waking moment you have. Living for the moments that you share with the ones around you, only because you never know what tomorrow will bring. Don't linger on your past, because then you will never be able to enjoy the things that are standing there in front of you. Hold on to the good memories, learn from your mistakes, but don't linger on them, they are memories for a reason. They already happened. Just enjoy every moment that you have. Keep the good one's and take the bad ones as lessons learned.

Taking a breath in,

I take in every smile, every scream

I know one day you will not be so small,

I know one day that you will realize you are not invincible

That one day you will need me,

And the breath I breathe in today, watching you grow and play,

will be the breath that gets me through,

The hard times you will have.

I am your mommy, forever and ever.

I know that when you will tell me I am mean and unfair, and how much you don't like me, That deep down inside you'll remember my promise to be there for you no matter what.

The breath I take in today while watching you play,

Is my memory of you

sweet, and innocent, and always loving me,

That the breath today will be the breath tomorrow that pushed me through, to see the dawn.

That that breath today watching you run in the sprinklers, is the breath of tomorrow watching you play on the football field or be on stage. That the breath of tomorrow will be the same breath I breathe on your wedding day.Holding on to that memory.

Just taking in every moment that you have, while you grow. Holding on to it deep in my memory, so I never forget, when you were sweet, and innocent, and thought you were invincible.

Cassandra J Columbo 6/17/2007

The true definition of a mom

okay, this is something I posted a long time ago ( okay so February feels like a long time ago) on my myspace blog and I feel since my page is private it should be shared here also... Please forgive my spelling errors in this one.

The definition of a Mom:

The definition of a mom is undefinable. You are everything in the world to your children. You are the soccer coach, band teacher, dance instructor, world renowned chef, nurse and doctor, chauffeur/taxi driver, boo boo kisser, photographer, and all around mean at times. Which they will remind you of on the occasion you do tell them no. Yet, no matter what you are their mom. Something that no one else could be, something that can never be replaced in their heart no matter how many times they tell you they hate you when they get older.

You are the referee, the loser of board games, the artist, the person they run to when they need a hug. You are their world as much as they are yours. You are their first love, the hip they attach themselves to, the maid that teaches them how to clean their own rooms and do their own dishes and laundry. You are the police officer that makes sure they obey the laws, so the real police don't arrest them for something. You teach them everything that is important in the world, and how to survive if they needed to, but are still the shoulder they can always cry on. The shirt they can bury their face in or wipe their boogers on .You are their protector and their teacher. You give them the world no matter how much of the world you know you will never see yourself. You give up a night out with the girls to take them bowling instead, you give up the new pair of jeans you are dying for so they can have new shoes or the video game, transformer, or barbie doll they have been dying to have. You love them no matter how many gray hairs they give you. No matter how many CD Roms get shoved into the printer, or DVDs end up in the VCR, or how many times you have to lock the bathroom door so they don't dance or " take a bath " in the toilet that you clean daily because of the new obsession with the bathroom in general.

No matter what you try to be better, because you feel they deserve to have the best mommy in the world, which is more than even their best friend could ever offer them, although they will deny this around the age of 12, and remember it again around the age of 16.

You have Green eggs and ham, if you give a mouse a cookie, take a mouse to school, give a pig a pancake, a moose a muffin, brown bear brown bear and good night moon memorized, and cant wait for the day they can read them back to you, or ask you who Edgar Allen Poe and Shakespeare were. Tell them Aesop's fables and hope they eventually learn the lesson to be taught. Want to tell them about the titans and how even the Greek god's were afraid of them.
You expose them to the Beatles and pink Floyd to show them classic rock, while listening to Rock-in around the clock, or Mozart. You listen to Kenny Chesney, Montgomery gentry, brooks and Dunn and Scream " That's Something to be proud of ..." while driving in the car, and then jam out to Merle haggard or Johnny cash, or the Disney remixes CD clapping along with the Ba-ha men singing " its a small world after all" thinking how you remember this being the most annoying song played at Disney world. You want them to be independent and make their own decisions, while trying to keep them from growing up too fast. Hold on to Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, and the Easter bunny, and the fairy tales you share now, hoping they hold on to the memories of the things you tell them. You accept the fact that nothing is sacred other than your children and spending time with them, and that there is no alone time, including taking a bathroom break or shower. Because once they hear that door close little fingers stick under the door and shout out " mom mom" , or a fully clothed child is climbing into the shower with you, that the shower wakes even the deepest sleeping child. That the baby gate that used to be your saviour is now the jungle gym they climb over.

That baby bottle dishes and sippy cups are more important than the pan you plan on using to cook dinner in that night. That doing laundry at midnight is normal, and you don't mind because you spent the day enjoying your children. No matter how insane you feel some days you know you would never give up the fact that you are their mommy. You no longer have to go to the bathroom or pee, you go to the potty, but no longer have a potty mouth and have resorted to Sugar Honey Iced Tea, and fudge and dang it vs the latter. Because they will repeat everything you have to say.

That the news is never on, and you only get to watch your shows when they go to bed, you have the theme songs to blues clues, Dora the explorer , go Diego go, the wiggles, higglytown heros and jojo's circus stuck in your head at any given time, but you also know when smurfs, snorks and tom and jerry is on on boomerang or cartoon network, because you remember watching them when you were little Your set reminders are usually these shows or Transformers at 6:30 am because your son is obsessed with them. You have the premium cable channels not so you can watch MTV 2, but so you have access to 2 nickelodeon and 2 disney channels, 5 cartoon channels and noggin so they can watch dragon tales or barney at midnight when no one feels good or is ready to sleep, have a bad dream or just want to cuddle with their mommy on the couch, your PPV orders consist of the latest Disney movie, pixar movie, or dream works movie, and are okay with that. The ring tones on the phone are the ones your kids picked out and asked you to download, if your lucky you can claim one or two of them as your own.

You smile when someone tells you how wonderful your children are, because even on a bad day you know how wonderful they are, but you are the only one ( with a few exceptions) that can tell people they just hide their horns well, or that the halo they are wearing for the day is being supported by their horns.

Vacations are family trips to Disney world, or to the beach, there are no romantic getaways, but watching their eyes light up at the sight of mickey mouse or real waves is more full - filling than a night away by yourselves. Dinner with Cinderella and her prince charming is more special than a candlelit dinner, because it is a fairy tale brought to life. Getting a free cookie at Epcot center for your sons birthday is more special than roses on any day. Walking into the all star movie resort, or Putting a tent up at fort wilderness and hearing your son tell you that you are staying at Mickey Mouse's house means more to you than a 5 star resort any day.

" NO" is part of your daily vocabulary, and its okay with you. You smile when you hear their giggle. You know when they are doing something they shouldn't be, just because they have been quiet for more than 5 minutes, crayon on the wall is okay because it cleans better than marker, or pen, playdoh does eventually come out of carpet, and you know the precise way and wait time for this to happen successfully. It is not unusual to find broken crayons in the vacuum, or hidden under a bed. That when people ask about your little shadows you tell them they are your pride and joy, and if they weren't your shadows how would they learn right from wrong?

You know the consequences of too much sugar or soda, and you know when they have had enough before it gets to that point. You are used to finding things in your bed that don't necessarily belong there, and only make your bed once a day versus the 500 times you could have made it because someone decided to play hide and seek under the covers of your freshly made bed, repeatedly. You vacuum every day, and for every hug they give each other there is a smack, bite, or punch in their somewhere. But nothing could feel better than the hugs they give you and the love they show you.

No matter what you love them, will do anything and everything for them, and know its your job, but are okay with it, and love getting up and going to work everyday, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year, and would not change it for the world. Because without you, they would be covered in chocolate or spaghetti sauce, they would beat each other up all day, they would not have clothes to wear, without you they would not know what a mothers love is.

You are their teacher, nurse, doctor, maid, chef, personal driver, channel changer, allowance giver, soccer and baseball coach, personal trainer, dance partner, photographer, memory keeper, booger wiper, swing pusher, the one who punishes them when they need it, their shoulder to cry on, the cuddler of cuddlers, the hugger of huggers, but most important of all You are their mommy, and will always be their mommy, and no one can replace that.

cassandra J columbo - 2/12/07

1st post

Okay, so I am a stay at home mom. I love it, but we can't afford it. We also can not afford daycare either for my 2 year old, but it's cheaper for me to stay home. My 5 year old is in kindergarten. I do love it . Sometimes I just wish we would win the lottery and be rich, ya right - so if any of you millionaires out there some where wanna donate... Pick me, pick me.... LoL
I love being here for my kids.

I love my kids, I love my husband, but sometimes they all make me want to scream. I clean one room, and my human tornado makes a mad dash coloring on the walls, pulling my couch cushions off of the couch. I stand there ready to cry, and silently ask the dust bunnies to return the one good bra I own- that either one of my children hid somewhere or the puppy my husband brought home hid. So if you see it please return it to me. I need the support...